I don’t know why this has been floating around the zeitgeist or whatever small random corner of the world I have been attempting to hermit through, but the eagles from The Lord of the Rings are back. It’s one of those things like stormtrooper marksmanship or Indiana Jones’ lack of impact on world events. The eagles are selfish, uncaring blighters who could have been very helpful if only they could be bothered.
Now, I’ve written before about how Imperial stormtroopers from Star Wars fame are crack shots. They did a very good job of barely missing, driving our incompetent band of misfits back to their ship, and leading the empire directly to the secret rebel base. The merry band of misfits then had to abandon said base, so yeah, good job.
Oh, speaking of, Luke Skywalker was a total nepo baby, screw-up, whiny, wannabe slacker. He did nothing but fail through three whole movies. Luke failed his way to the top, like the privileged little boy that he was. I had no trouble believing he would go sulk on a small island for years and years because things weren’t perfect back home. It was totally in character.
Anyway, Indiana Jones found the Ark of the Covenant when everybody else was looking in the wrong direction. If he hadn’t done that, the bad guys wouldn’t have opened it and wouldn’t have been wiped out, and if the bad guys had found it without him, then the rest of the bad guys would have eventually gone to the island wondering whatever had happened to the first group of bad guys. I’m saying without Jones the bad guys would have eventually gotten the Maguffin and used it to do naughty things against the Allies. Good job, Indy.
Okay, right, the eagles, like I haven’t been sitting on this story thread for so long it probably has fallen right back out of the zeitgeist. It’s been a year, okay? Very rough, exhausting stuff.
Now, there is a very simple, straightforward reason the eagles did not chauffeur the ring right over to the Crack of Doom. Reason’s so obvious I’m surprised it doesn’t get mentioned more. Gandalf practically says it right out.
He told the eagles not to do it.
Naturally, he couldn’t really say that to everybody else because they would not have taken it well. The phrase “In heaven’s name, why” would probably have been applied rather loudly in his general direction if he had.
The Scouring of the Shire tends to get downplayed or overlooked when the books are discussed, and nobody notices when Gandalf tells Denethor that he is also a steward, but these are important load-bearing details.
It’s like skipping Tom Bombadil because he’s annoying. I mean, he is annoying, but he is also the key to understanding not only how magic works but also how the One Ring works.
Remember how Gandalf views his job. He’s a steward, not a hero.
Gandalf the White could have taken down Sauron at any time. In fact, he did. Gandalf admits one of the first things he did upon being sent back down to Middle Earth was kick Sauron’s ass.
Gandalf worded this so carefully, but he broke Sauron’s hold over Frodo when the stupid hobbit stood on the High Seat upon Amon Hen while wearing the One Ring. This is important.
It wasn’t Gandalf’s job to defeat the bad guy. After all, if he had, then everybody else would have learned nothing and remained dependent on him. He wanted to build them up so they could stand on their own.
Gandalf wanted the vain, selfish, and greedy elves, self-absorbed dwarves, and emotionally stunted humans to not need him anymore, and that meant keeping the eagles out of it.
In The Scouring of the Shire, Gandalf more-or-less said, “Not my problem. I’m retired. You’ve got this. Peace out,” and because he had lied about the eagles being totally self-absorbed jerks, the hobbits were able to handle it.
They didn’t need him anymore.